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Q: How do you get to Bristletoe Island?
A: You can get the ferry. It is not long to get here. Why not sit up on the top deck or bottom deck? You can learn more about the proud ferry here: About the island – Bristletoe Island Tourism Commission

Q: Is Bristletoe Island very nice?
A: Yes. Bristletoe Island is nice. Many people judging it better than some islands in the region, and has many more inventions and patents than all of them. Also, the Bristletoe Island Salamanders are very amazing.

Q: How much wisdom do they do on Bristletoe Island?
A: Bristletoe Island is a place where they do a LOT of Wisdom. Allan Squire (recently dead) was the best at Wisdom. Since he became dead Petros has become quite good at doing wisdom and is running a course that even Yengold Boolwoss is attending.

Q: Is it true you are building an abandoned lighthouse on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes. We began construction of the abandoned lighthouse in 2021, but had to stop due to complexity of making it and the builders ran out of their ideas. We will be looking for new experts to help us to build it, but not for now – there are other things. Why not do your resesarch?

Q: What are the weddings with bible people?
A: Do you want to marry someone? Why not do it with all the famous people from the bible? You can choose from all the normal ones, plus Buddha, Ghandi, John Merrick and Bruce Lee. Our head of bible people, Salman Oint, can create any scene you want to involve your nostrils. We have mules and goats for the baby scenes, and we have swords, staffs and nunchakus for the fighting and magic scenes. It is very amazing, and you will remember that you were married.

Q: Can we get Hut Udders on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes. A Hut Udder can make any dwelling a milkable dwelling, now with 40gallon udders available (very large udder). Why not milk your caravan? Or a bus? It is OK. You can do this now. One lady has a hut udder on a grain silo. Very amazing.

Q: Why do people know so much about the Bible on Bristletoe Island?
A: Many people in Bristletoe Island study the Bible and write excellent research books about it. Mary has written books about what Bible people did when they weren’t in Bible, and also what happened to Buddha and why he was taken out at the last minute.
Because of our popular Wedding with Bible People offerings, we had to learn all about the bible people, including what they did, what they looked like, what they used mules for, and how they were different in the books and movies to real life.

Q: Is sheep milk delicious.
A: Sheep milk is very delicious for people who love to drink it. Most people think it is thick a syrup that comes from a lambs bladder, and is difficult to milk but for them it might be better as cheese or other delicacies.

Q: What is the BaBtoB Festival?
A: BaBtoB our world famous Bring a Bushell to Bristletoe Festival. It is the best festival. There are no festivals this good as far as we know.
Each year we all bring special bushells to the island. We throw these in a large hole to become full and bury them. This makes the land and sea happy. It is great cause for celebration. BaBtoB is the best time of year to visit Bristletoe, although there is usually nowhere to stay, so it may not be a good idea for you.

Q: What are Salamanders?
A: Salamanders are the best basketball team on the island. There is another team (“The Peasants”) but they are terrible, and may not even play basktball. There is a good chance they are trying to use it to create a fake team to get funding from the council. So far they have not received any funding.

Q: What are the products available on Bristletoe?
A: You can buy amazing things when you come to our paradise. Salty snacks, plankton flakes, sheep milk, edible food, God Shovel, Rain Pants, Click Box, research books, pelican jerkey, Bristletoe Clothing, Hut Udders, the best Kumquats , plankton drops for cats and more. You can see more here: Products – Bristletoe Island Tourism Commission

Q: Can you learn to catch the bats on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes – you can do a course and learn to catch the bats. It is very amazing. Our people have many techniques and they will teach them to you. You can do a course on LinkedIn about catching bats, but you must be fast it is very popular with people with a lot of bats.

Q: Can you play volleyball on Bristletoe Island?
A: No

Q: Why can’t you play volleyball on Bristletoe Island?
A: Volleyball is a very bad idea, and it can even give you AIDS. It is mostly for wife stealers and people with no minds to play. This is not something we welcome on the island. There are other islands, some allow volleyball, some do not.

Q: Are we at risk of peasants if we visit the island?
A: No. We have an excellent peasant-proof-fence on the island. You can look on the map. Recently we introduced Peasant Tours, where it is possible to get up close and see them going about in their filth and squalor. It is a tour that can take up your time and you can wear AIDS / Covid safe suits for your excellent protection.

Q: What can we study at Bristletoe College?
A: We don’t mind. You can study anything. Bristletoe College is one of the top 2000 colleges in the region. We have furniture, buildings and more. The previous president was very good and effective. We don’t have opinions on the new president but it is possible there is something wrong with her.

Q: Is there much AIDS or Covid on Bristletoe Island?
A: We have some AIDS and Covid, but it is OK. There are barns and other places they can go and we have some rules.

Q: Do you have a Goat-Man on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes, we have a Goat-Man on the island. He has animal abilities, and is very amazing. Sometimes he comes to the diner and eats scraps from the bins, but mostly you have to looking for him. He does not turn up on time to places, so we can not make a schedule.

Q: Do you encourage people to stand around on the island?
A: Yes. That is one of the things to do on the island. There are others as well.

Q: I heard you have afids on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes – there are some on the Kumquat trees. There might be more or less. It is worth a look and we can offer you afid kits to capture and observe them in a jar.

Q: Are there good investment opportunities on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes. Bristletoe Island has many inventions and patents you can use your money to invest with. The click-box is very amazing. It can make ANY clicking sound. Think of a clicking sound you like and it can make it. Sometimes it can make it better than you thought of. There are Rain Pants (feather rejecting technology) that you can invest in, and the God Shovel is also available so you can make religious shapes as you dig.

Q: What kind of music do they play on Bristletoe Island?
A: The best album we have is by Petros and the Salamanders – Music for Tall People. This is very amazing, and capturing the culture and ideas of Bristletoe Island and the heritages.

Q: Is it true that basketball is better than volleyball?
A: Yes. Volleyball is a very ugly game that makes people smell bad and causes AIDS, fungal infections and sometimes makes your skin fall off. Basketball is a game for tall people that anyone can watch and helps people with all kinds of emotional problems like daydreaming and tiredness. If you want to experience basketball, you can come and watch the Salamanders, or help weed the court with the community and learn our stories.

Q: Do you have motor cycle gangs on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes. But we have no real roads, so our gang uses segways. They are much safer and less noisy. It is preferred. The gang is called the Pigeons, and has very intimate leather jackets to scare people.

Q: Is there a native flightless bird on Bristletoe Island?
A: No. However, we have scientists at the college who are trying to create a new range of flightless birds that will be unique to our island paradise. Then we will name them and put them on emblems. The science is mostly mystery, and nobody knows how it works, so it can take a bit longer.

Q: What celebrities have visited Bristletoe Island?
A: We have had many celebrities visit Bristletoe Island, like Larry Bird, the basketball expert. Most celebrities change their names and identities when they come because they want peace and quiet. We have also think we may have been visited by Richard Branson, Ryan Reynolds, Saul Goodman, Martina Hingis, Kenny Everett, Mollie Sugden and Robert Langdon from Davinci Code.

Q: Have you thought about having the Grand Prix on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes. We have asked them to move the Grand Prix from Bahrain to Bristletoe Island. It would be better here, and people will celebrate. There are less people so won’t need all the stands to sit in – we can watch from where we are. It is OK. Much better.

Q: Is there internet on Bristletoe Island?
A: Yes. There is free internet at the library. It is open during the day and you can be welcome to go there.

Q: Are people still annoyed by the new goats?
A: Some people are annoyed but they don’t think much and should put their things away. We tried getting goats on the internet, but they died very quickly when they delivered them so not much good for shipping in those containers. Sometimes people bring small goats on the ferry and they become adults later.

Q: What should we bring to Bristletoe Island?
A: You should bring luggage, sunscreen, creams (if you have fungus) and things to do while you are standing around (e.g. Magazines, kettle-balls, scented bags, admin/forms, rope etc).

Q: Why do you have a ‘Walking on the spot project manager’?
A: This is important so the project can be finished on time and with excellent results. Since they gave us the two machines, many people now walk on the spot while looking at the screen. Most people think it makes no sense, but it is more popular than ever. The project is very amazing.

Q: Why is Petros so amazing on the website?
A: Petros is very amazing and he does inventions and LinkedIn. He cured Covid on the island with the barn ideas, and makes excellent brochures for the ferry. He also making the best inventions and has more patents than even Allan Squire (fully dead). He was the best at the college until they made a terrible mistake and firing him. I am also the best at wisdom now and look after all the people who have brain damage or didn’t grow up properly.